


Bring On The Dancing Horses

by FromOZwithlove



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Hawkins (Stranger Things), Multi, Post-Stranger Things 3, Self-Discovery, Slow Burn, Stranger Things 3, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:59:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24313915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FromOZwithlove/pseuds/FromOZwithlove
Summary: Steve comes to term with things, and realizes feelings for people Steve thought were out of reach.
Relationships: Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler
Comments: 1
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So disclaimer:  
> I do not own these characters or Stranger Things. Any resemblance to real people or events is merely coincidental
> 
> I am not trans. The emotions associated with coming out are based on my own experiences and may not apply to everyone's situation. My depiction of transness is based off of the experiences of people I'm close to, and may not reflect every aspect of trans life. If anything I write is very off or offensive please let me know so I can fix it. Thank you and hope you enjoy the read!
> 
> TW: I use the word dyke once, I am a dyke and I own it
> 
> *By the way I'm switching pronouns halfway through this since I figured transness wasn't very well known in mid 80s Indiana and Steve might not have figured herself out yet*

Steve has a box at the very back of his closet. It's hidden under a pile of his old sweatshirts, which he figures neither of his parents will ever look at. And nobody does, for a long time. But late one November night Robin goes through his wardrobe looking for something to get warm and finds the box. She asks him about it of course, and he trusts her so implicitly that he tells her. "They're mine. I mean, I wear them." He says almost under his breath, not looking her in the eyes. Robin sits on his bed, very still and for a minute he's afraid that she's going to... he doesn't know what. If she leaves he doesn't know how he'll handle it. But she doesn't, just looks at him in that no bullshit way of hers. "This isn't a sex thing right?" she deadpans, "Because I don't want to know about that crap." Steve lets out a startled laugh, shaking his head. 

Robin shifts a bit closer, softening as she leans closer to him. "It's okay, you know." Steve finally makes eye contact with her, and he sees the sincerity in her eyes. "What do you mean?" He gets a little frustrated because he doesn't know how she's being so chill about this when his heart feels like it's about to fly out of his chest. "How the hell can this be okay? You know now that I'm a freak." Panic rises in his throat and he almost starts hyperventilating before Robin sets her hand on his knee. 

"You're not a freak man." She says softly. "I have no room to judge, I mean, I'm a freaking dyke." She huffs a laugh under her breath. "Is there anything else you're not telling me? Because I mean, I'm your best friend and after the whole thing with the Russians and..."

Steve cuts her off, "I started collecting the clothes a while ago. It started as a joke, since some guys on the team dared me to dress like Madonna for Halloween. I kind of just realized that I really loved it. The whole dress, makeup, hair, shebang." He pauses his ramble to take a deep breath and check that Robin is still listening, which she is.

"Madonna?" She asks, her eyebrow quirking up. "Shut up!" He laughs, lightly socking her shoulder. "Anyways, I said I was going to return the get-up but I never did. I started wearing it around sometimes when noone was home. Eventually I found new pieces, a couple skirts, shirts, dresses, that kind of thing. I didn't really start with the makeup until Nancy. I didn't know that I liked it until one time she wanted to practice on me." 

"Nancy? Really? I always thought that she would be so, I don't know, gender normative." Robin asks, quirking her head at this new view of Nancy. 

"She's not as uptight as she seems, I swear." Steve replies, lips threatening to turn up into a smile. "Anyway, I watched her do her makeup and then I started doing it on myself. I was pretty horrible at the start, I'll admit. But I loved how it made me feel."

"Like a girl?" Robin is looking at him with a mix of love and curiosity, but to his surprise no judgement.

"No, nothing like that." He responds, and his own vehemence surprises him a little. "It just felt good. And then I started growing out my hair."

"Ah, the origin of the infamous Harrington hair.  
  


"Shut up. Anyway, I can't grow it out too long because of what people will say but I think I'd like to someday." It's a bit of a revelation, Steve realizes, and something he's never consciously thought about.

Robin slumps down until she's lying on his bed staring up at him. "You'd look good with long hair." She says matter of factly, "Very pretty." A strange thrill shoots up his spine at the word. _Pretty_. He lays down next to Robin in silence and stares at the ceiling for a while, letting the adrenaline drain from his system. "Thank you." He finally says reaching out and grasping Robin's hand. "Thank you." 

Robin curls into him, her eyes closing gradually. "'S no problem." She mumbles into his chest as she dozes off. He lays there, feeling her slow breathing under his hand. As he drifts off that word tumbles around in his head. _Pretty. Pretty. I'm pretty._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I forgot to mention it in the first chapter but the title is based off of Bring on the Dancing Horses by Echo & the Bunnymen. Great song, check it out.

Steve sits under the harsh lights of the Sears dressing room, waiting for Robin to model her latest find for him. She's taken him bra shopping with her as a "discerning eye". Honestly, he thinks she just needed someone to drive her.

Robin swings open the dressing room door and dramatically steps out, spinning around in a pale blue number she picked out. Steve obediently compliments her and says that the bra looks great, which it does. Robin goes back into the stall to try another of her finds, but Steve can't shake the image of her chest. It's not in a lewd way (after everything they've been through he views her as a sister) but more a fixation on the way the straps of the bra accentuate her delicate ribcage. 

Robin comes back out as Steve is standing up. "You okay Stevie?" She asks, crossing her arms and looking at him with a hint of concern. They haven't talked about the box in the four days after Robin saw it, but she has called him pretty a couple more times. He wouldn't admit it, but each time the word gives him a thrill. 

"I'm fine." Steve mumbles, moving Robin's purse from his lap to the bench he was sitting on. "Just need to use the restroom." Robin seems appeased, maybe sensing his need to escape, and she lets him go with no further questions.

He stumbles out of the dressing area. He doesn't go to the restroom. Steve doesn't want to risk catching a glimpse in the mirror as he knows what he'll see. The sharp jaw, his broad chest and shoulders- the idea makes him nauseous. Contrary to what the rest of the school may think, King Steve doesn't actually spend the majority of his day looking at his reflection. He stopped scrutinizing anything but his hair at the end of elementary school after seeing the changes between the girls and boys in the sixth grade. When he started noticing the definition in his chest and arms, so different from the soft curves of the girls he crushed on. When looking in the mirror for too long made his skin feel itchy and too tight and he started needing to escape.

Steve ends up staring blankly at a wall of sweaters when Robin walks up to him. She's put her shirt back on, but Steve notices that she's missed the top button and he can see the barest hint of her cleavage. Robin lightly smacks him with her purse, pushing him towards the checkout counter. "You ready to go? Or do you want to look at me topless even more?" Steve forces out a laugh, flashing the signature Harrington smile at her. He knows that she sees through it, but thankfully doesn't say anything.

Later as he drives Robin home, listening to the latest Cars song, he can't shake the feeling of looking at Robin's chest. Not a feeling of lust or any other form of attraction, but one of undeniable envy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally some slow burn begins. Took me long enough am I right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer still stands from the first chapter. Thanks to everyone who has read so far.

Steve is lying on his bed skimming through reruns when his phone rings. He grabs it off the hook and answers "H'lo?" Nancy's voice comes over the other end of the line "Hey Steve." She sounds a little hesitant, and he can hear Mike talking about something in the background. "What's up Nance?"

"So," Nancy starts a little warily, "Me and Jonathan were talking and we were wondering if you and Robin wanted to come to a movie with us."

Steve's heart starts to beat a little faster at the thought of sitting in the dark with Nancy and Jonathan close to him. "Which movie?" 

"Well we were thinking either Jewel of the Nile or Out of Africa, but you and Robin can make the final decision."

Steve isn't hugely invested in the antics of Jack Colton, but he _really_ doesn't feel like sitting through a romance with his ex and her current boyfriend. "Jewel of the Nile, definitely."

Nancy lets out a muffled laugh into the receiver and says, "I should have guessed you'd pick the action movie, Mr Masculinity. 4:00 sound okay?" Steve shrugs off the sharp pain the nickname elicits and glances at his clock, which says 1:00, and agrees. They both say their goodbyes and hang up. Steve then picks up the phone and dials Robin.

"What's up numbnuts?" She answers almost immediately, sounding like she's chewing something into the receiver. Steve instinctively grins at the sound of her voice and replies "How did you know it was me?" Robin swallows, saying, "Lucky guess. Why're you calling?" Steve explains Nancy and Jonathan's proposal, asking her if she's willing to come along. After a short pause Robin asks, "Do _you_ want me to come?" Steve stops. He actually hadn't thought about it, but he's split between wanting her to assuage the third wheeling and wanting to be alone with the couple. "Yeah?" He says tentatively, "It'd be better if you came." He can tell Robin doesn't believe him but she promises her attendance before they hang up.

* * *

Nancy and Jonathan are leaning against the wall of the cinema and talking animatedly when Steve and Robin pull up. Steve swings open the car door, and he knows that he looks cool as hell in his shades. Or he would if it weren't the middle of December in Indiana. "You look like an idiot." Robin mutters to him as she comes around the car to join him. "Shut up." He hisses back as they approach Nancy and Jonathan. As they near Jonathan peels himself off the wall, a genuine smile lighting up his face. When her face turns towards him Nancy is wearing an almost identical look of happiness. Steve doesn't know why their reaction warms something inside of him but he lets a grin spread across his face (he pointedly ignores the look Robin shoots him as the couple turns towards the entrance). 

"Hope you don't mind but we already bought the tickets." Nancy says, grinning shyly at them. "How much do I owe you?" Steve responds, already starting to pull out his wallet. "It's fine, I'll cover you." Jonathan says, pulling open the door for the others. It may be the cold, but Steve can swear there's a hint of a blush on his cheeks. 

Steve feels a bit bad since he knows Jonathan doesn't exactly have deep pockets, so he offers to pay for popcorn. Jonathan complies a bit reluctantly and allows Steve to buy both him and Nancy cherry ICEEs as well. After Robin thoroughly drenches the popcorn bucket in fake butter they make their way into the actual theater.

Steve sits between Robin and Jonathan, holding the popcorn in his lap since Nancy insists she doesn't want any. Steve zones out a little throughout the movie, instead catching glimpses of the way light catches the angles of Nancy's face. It's strangely fascinating, and he tells himself that there's no reason. He also denies the way his heart beats a tiny bit faster when his and Jonathan's hands brush against each other as they reach for popcorn. He feels no jealousy when he sees Jonathan and Nancy's intertwined fingers out of the corner of his eye. Definitely not.

Instead he and Robin make snide comments under their breaths to each other, mocking the cliched romance and manufactured drama between the two main leads. At one point Jonathan leans towards him and whispers, "Who the hell goes off with a sketchy guy she just met?" Steve snickers, "Everyone in action movies, evidently." He's a little proud of the way Jonathan smiles at his remark.

After the movie ends they walk out of the theater, laughing at the many plot holes they found through out the film. They go their separate ways once outside, Jonathan shaking Steve's hand and Nancy squeezing him into a chaste hug. He hopes Robin doesn't notice the distant way he stares after them as the walk away, Jonathan's arm slung casually across Nancy's shoulders. 

Robin pushes his shoulder and he realizes he's been looking for too long. "You gotta get over her man." She says as they start towards the car. "I am!" Steve protests, but his words sound fake even to himself. He pushes his hair back with one hand as he slides into the driver's seat and turns on the car. "Ice cream?" He asks Robin as she gets in the car. She laughs at his complete disregard for seasonal norms and agrees. They argue over the worst part of the movie as they drive away, Steve pointedly ignoring the ache Nancy and Jonathan have left in his heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Jewel of the Nile was a pretty bad movie that came out in December 1985.  
> This chapter wasn't the best writing I've ever done, but plot's gotta plot. Please bare with me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve looks in the mirror and thinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: gender dysphoria
> 
> This is more angsty than i would normally do but whatever

There's a mirror in Steve's room. It's floor length, and usually hidden in the corner under dirty clothes. He taped photos to the sides (which he insists is not girly to his father): photos of him and Robin at a waterpark they went to in August, him and Nancy from back when they were dating, and, in a place of honor in the top right corner, a picture of Nancy, him, and Jonathan smiling together. It had been taken by Dustin at a pool party thrown at Steve's house as a last hurrah before school started back up again, and Steve has found himself looking at it more than he'd like to admit.

Steve has uncovered the mirror now and stands in front of it in just his boxers, his box at his feet. He starts by pulling out a lacy black bra Robin had slipped him as a Christmas present. He's a bit amazed at how supportive she's been since she found the box back in November, casually calling him pretty and helping him shop for women's clothes under the guise of shopping for herself. It took him some tries to get the hang of the hook but he clasps it now, then shimmies around until the cups are in front. 

He stands there for a second, looking at himself standing there in the bra and boxers. He loves the way the black stands out against his skin, creating curves where there none. He'd shaved his chest for just this occasion, and every strip of smooth skin he revealed had filled in a pothole in his soul that has been there for as long as he can remember. 

He pulls on a pink v-neck sweater, relishing the way the cloth feels against his freshly shaved skin. It hangs loosely off of his shoulders, and he finds himself loving the illusion of breasts the bra under the shirt gives. 

He brings out a pair of loose jeans next. When he puts them on they cup his ass in a way that, in his modest opinion, is pretty damn hot. He's had a hard time finding shoes in his size (size 12 is not super common in the greater Hawkins area), so he just puts on a pair of his own white Converse. 

He then moves into the bathroom to do his makeup. Steve doesn't have a lot of experience so he skips over foundation and concealer and goes straight to eyeshadow. After putting a smoky ring of black eyeliner around his eyes, putting mascara on his lashes, and dabbing on light pink lipstick, he sits back to take a look. He's as pleased as he can be with what he sees. Steve can't help but notice how his jawline is a little too sharp, eyebrows a little too thick, adam's apple a little too prominent. He shakes off the bile rising in his throat and looks quickly away. 

Steve brushes out his hair until it curls smoothly around his ears. He's let it grow out over the past three months and it falls to just below his shoulders. After adjusting a stray lock, Steve stands and heads for the door. 

Robin is sitting on the doorstep when Steve opens his front door. She turns around and Steve sees a small hint of surprise cross her face when she sees him. He blushes a bit and says, "You ready to go?" Robin picks up her bag and stands. "Took you long enough." She smirks at him over her shoulder. "You look great. Now come on, we're going to be late." Steve smiles to himself as he hops off the step, trailing after her to the car. 

Steve takes a deep breath as he slides behind the wheel. Robin places a hand on his knee to calm him. "No one will know you. And even if they do, they won't even recognize you." Steve looks at her a bit skeptically, "You certain?" "Positive" She replies, sitting back in her seat. "Now hurry up and drive slowpoke." Steve repeats her words in his mind as he starts the car and pulls out of the driveway. _They won't even recognize you._

Something about that brings a smile to his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The outfit Steve's is loosely based off of:  
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/eb/7d/53/eb7d530536210f25d6b3754cf271c8ed.jpg
> 
> https://www.retrowaste.com/wp-content/gallery/1980s-womens-fashion/1985-womens-silver-unicorn-sweaters.jpg


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same CW as before. Again, not a trans woman so if you have any issue with anything I write please let me know, it is not my intention to offend or misrepresent anything. I'm probably going to make this the last chapter unless y'all think it should continue. Sorry this chapter took so long to write, I've been really uninspired as to where I wanted this fic to go.

As they pull onto the one main road in Hawkins Robin turns to him, a luminous grin spread across her face.

“I figured it out!”

Steve looks at her quizzically.

“Figured what out?”

“What” she gestures to him “this is.”

Steve shifts uncomfortably in his seat as he tightens his hands on the wheel, suddenly very aware of the strap of the bra pressed between the seat and his back.

“You didn’t talk to anyone right? Because you know if this gets out…”

She cuts him off, practically bouncing in her seat from excitement

“You know I wouldn’t do that, right? I went to the library.”

Steve scoffs “Nerd” under his breath and Robin smacks his shoulder.

“Anyways, there’s something called ‘transgender’ that sounds like you.”

Steve pulls to a stop at a red light and looks at Robin. He can feel a mixture of excitement and fear rising in his throat like bile, something new and hard to quantify. “Is it bad?” He asks softly, his voice a bit hoarse. Robin’s face softens and she replies back in a low voice,

“No. You’re not bad. Who you are isn’t bad. Transgender just means that someone was born in the wrong body. That they want to be the opposite gender. Not that you’re a bad person or wrong.”

Steve feels tears sting the back of his eyes and he’s overcome with love for Robin. Robin, his perfect best friend who knows him better than anyone.

“Can you call me she.” Steve’s voice is choked, and she can’t look Robin in the eye at that moment.

“Sure”

Robin says, reaching over the console to wrap Steve in a hug. She closes her eyes and breathes in Robin’s scent, a mix of sawdust and vanilla that has become strangely comforting. Her eyes reopen when Robin pulls back and lightly shoves his shoulder.

“The light’s green dingus, you need to drive.” Steve wraps her hands around the wheel and pulls away.


End file.
